Sitting in the Ambiguity of Feelings: Finding Growth in the In-Between

As human beings, we crave clarity. We want to know what we feel, why we feel it, and how to fix it if it’s uncomfortable. Yet often, life doesn’t offer neat answers. Our emotions rarely arrive in single, well-labeled packages. Instead, they come tangled, layered, and sometimes contradictory. Joy mixes with grief. Relief sits alongside guilt. Love interweaves with fear.

This ambiguity can be deeply unsettling. We long for certainty, but the truth is that emotions are fluid, complex, and not always meant to be resolved immediately. Sitting in the ambiguity of feelings is about allowing space for complexity without rushing to simplify or judge.

Sitting in the ambiguity can be uncomfortable. From a psychological perspective, the brain prefers predictability and categorization. It feels safer when things are clear-cut—happy or sad, right or wrong, in or out. Ambiguous emotions disrupt that sense of safety, leaving us uncertain of how to act. For example, ending a relationship may bring both freedom and grief. Starting a new job may bring excitement and anxiety. Neither emotion cancels out the other; both are true.

Individuals often want emotions to make sense. We want to be able to say, “I’m happy” or “I’m sad,” and know what to do next. But feelings don’t always arrive so neatly. Sometimes they come in pairs, or even in opposites—joy and grief, relief and guilt, excitement and fear. It can feel confusing, even unsettling, when emotions seem to contradict each other.

This is what we call the ambiguity of feelings. It’s the experience of holding more than one truth at the same time. And while it may feel uncomfortable, learning to sit with this ambiguity can actually be an important part of healing and growth.

There is value in sitting with ambiguity. Ambiguity invites us to slow down and notice the layers of what we feel without needing to “fix” them right away. Sitting with ambiguity is not passivity—it’s a form of active presence. It allows us to:

• Hold multiple truths at once without forcing ourselves to choose one.

• Develop tolerance for discomfort, building resilience in the process.

• Discover meaning that only emerges when we resist the urge to rush to conclusions.

By sitting in the “in-between,” we often find deeper self-understanding and compassion. It reminds us that we are not one-dimensional beings, but capable of holding vast inner landscapes.

When we give ourselves permission to sit with mixed feelings, something shifts. Instead of trying to force ourselves into one box or another, we allow the full picture of our experience to come forward.

This helps us:

• Be more compassionate with ourselves.

• Grow more comfortable with uncertainty.

• Discover meaning that may not be visible right away.

It’s not about fixing the feelings——it’s about gently noticing them and giving them space to exist.

How to practice sitting in ambiguity:

• Name what you notice. Instead of searching for a single label, describe the range of what you feel. Try saying to yourself, “I am both excited and nervous right now.”

• Pause before acting. Give yourself permission not to resolve feelings immediately. Slow down. You do not have to figure it out immediately. Give yourself time.

• Breathe into the discomfort. Notice the sensations in your body. Mindful breathing helps the body stay grounded while the mind holds uncertainty. Breathing deeply can help anchor you.

• Share. Talking about your mixed emotions with a trusted friend or therapist can help you explore emotions without rushing toward certainty and can help you feel less alone in the uncertainty

Ambiguity in feelings can feel like standing in a fog—you can’t see everything clearly, but you’re still moving forward. In time, the fog often lifts, and you may realize that sitting with the unknown gave you space to grow in ways you couldn’t have planned.

Ambiguity in feelings is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced. When we allow ourselves to sit with the complexity of our emotions, we begin to discover that the unknown is not a void to fear—it is a space where growth, wisdom, and self-acceptance can unfold.

Your feelings don’t need to be tidy to be meaningful. They simply need your presence.